Just another elegy

I can see a rainbow, a full rainbow. It is about sunset here, in this beach.

Another year has passed, and I still cannot meet you again since 5 years ago. Do you still remember our promise to meet here once in a year, every December 24th? Are you safe and sound wherever you are?

I know maybe it’s sound silly, but I do hope we keep doing our ‘ritual’ – to meet here once in a year and see the rainbow – even we haven’t contacted each other. I don’t have your contact, your address, I just have your name, and your picture. Kinan, I tried to find you via internet, but there are millions of ‘Kinan’ in this world.

Ah, the sky is reading my mind and giving the rain once more, blurring my rainbow, our rainbow. As I am walking down to the hotel, suddenly I can hear your voice, very close and clear. I’m looking around but there are no you, it must be my hallucination. I keep walking and see a hut from a distance. Seems there is a family. The rain is going heavier, so I decide to head there. ……………………………………

My whole body can’t move suddenly. It’s like my heart stopped beating at the moment. I don’t believe what I see, I don’t believe what I hear. I turn my path immediately, run directly heading to the hotel, as my tears start dropping.

It is you! You…. and your wife and sons….

I think this year is the last time I will go to this beach. It’s good to know you are alive, and happy with your family. Pretending that I’m okay and happy with that is the best for me I guess. This is a short elegy for myself…




Happiness and sorrow. Madness and Rainbow.

I can’t decide what should I choose. I’m here waiting for you for years…

This year, finally I can find you, see you, hear your voice, your laugh.

Should I happy? I can’t be happy. I can see you, hear you… but not having you.

All I can do now is hoping you the best with your family…

Maybe it’s not our destiny to be together in this life.

I wish I can meet you again in another life, to be together with you.




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